Sunday, February 27, 2011

Don't Get Vomit on my Handcuffs

I do not drink alcohol.  There are many reasons why.  The following is only one of those reasons.

I had another Saturday night on call shift last night.  Around 1:30 a.m. I got a call from another RA on the 14th floor.  She was calling to inform me that there was a girl on her floor passed out in the bathroom lying in her own vomit and that paramedics were on their way.  Sweet.  So I grabbed some shoes and headed upstairs.  When I got there all I could see where the girl's feet sticking out of the stall.  She had conveniently locked the stall door so we couldn't easily check on her.  Two options.  A) crawl under the door and get vomit all over me or B) climb up the stall door, straddle it, and unlock it with my toes risking falling and a head injury of my own.  I chose B because I don't like vomit.  Luckily I used to climb everything I possibly could as a child and have long toes so it wasn't that difficult.

After I got the door open and was about to see if she was conscious the university police officer showed up.  When he walked into the stall and started talking to her she came to.  Then she realized he was a cop and attempted an crawling into the other stall.  Which only served to further smear the vomit all over herself and the rest of the bathroom.  The cop was nice to her at first making sure she was okay but when he realized she was in no immediate danger and she became more difficult he stopped being nice.  There were a few residents in the hallway who had originally found her but no one knew who she was.  When she finally told us her name I asked the other RA to check our roster and I noticed that one of the residents disappeared for a few minutes.  Her name did not show up on the dorm roster so the cop kept asking her where she was from and where she lived.

Cop "Do you know where you are?  What building are you in?"
Girl "I think I'm in Alabama on the 5th floor"

He wasn't having much success when the resident who had disappeared showed back up.  By this time the paramedics and firemen were both there and the bathroom was getting crowded.  The resident looked at him and said, "She goes to Georgia.  It says so on Facebook".  This got a laugh from all the men.  The cop chuckled and said "Facebook is the best investigative tool."

So now we know that she isn't a student but we don't know how she got there.   We finally got the names of her friends and turns out their room is right down the hall.  I went to their room to check it out.  The door was wide open but there was no one to be found.  The paramedics cleared her and turned her over to the police.  Since no one was there to claim her he went ahead and arrested her.  She was not happy about being arrested and kept saying "Please don't this is, its so embarrassing."  To which the cop responded "I wouldn't be too worried about it.  Passed out in the bathroom floor in your own vomit was worse than this.  You better not get vomit on my handcuffs."  As we were taking th elevator ride downstairs with the cops I called the CD (Community Director) on call and reported the incident.  The girl thought I was talking to her friends and kept asking who it was and could she please talk to them. I had to tell her four times that no, I wasn't talking to anyone she knew.  After a little more investigative work (i.e. facebook stalking) we discovered that she is indeed a student at UGA and was from a town about 10 min away from Athens.  I'm sure her parents enjoyed the phone call informing them their daughter was arrested.  In Tuscaloosa, Alabama.  It all came full circle when we woke up this morning and saw her mugshot on the Tuscaloosa Jail website.  Wonder how long it took her friends to notice she wasn't there?  Wonder how her night in the drunk tank went with no shoes?  Hope that party was worth it.  Oh, and she's only 18.  As in she just turned 18 three weeks ago.  Happy Birthday!

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